So, what has happened in this period of time:
1. i wanted to give up
2. i had a revelation
3. i got another tattoo
and i bet you guys are thinking. WAIT WAIT WAIT hold up. ANOTHER ONE? YOU HAD A FIRST TATTOO?
yeah for sure guys haha. I forgot to post the first one. so
i will post pictures of both of them.. RIGHT NOW!
First one:
Second one:
Now onto the other topics.
1. I wanted to give up. Why? I think I know now. Being the young teenager that I am ( kind of i'm turning 19 soon), of course my idea of a typical summer is running around in the sun, laughing alongside good friends, with some froyo in hand, and no worries in mind. However, that wasn't the summer i was given, nor is that the summer I am having now, but the point is, I expected all of this, and yet, i let my immaturity, and shallow interests shadow the importance of why I was putting myself through all this boredom and work: because if anything, my main reason of life is to achieve my own personal dreams, and if so, help others achieve theirs. I forgive myself now, because.. for a while, in China, while i was fatigued to the very last drop of energy everyday from dance practice, piano practice, etc., I really was angry with myself for hating most of it ( I say most, because dance practice was actually kind of fun, when my uncle wasn't totally weird meandering around all over the place). But, now I know why I didn't like it. I was stuck in China with my grandparents who weren't exactly mobile, and they are extremely overprotective, because after all they raised me, and I was stuck being followed everywhere by this annoying, and i'm sure deep down caring, uncle who basically was a total ocd freak who might as well do nothing but stare at his own hands all day to count bacteria. I shouldn't really use the word stuck, because I should be lucky to still have time with them while they can spend time with me (this referring to my grandparents), and yet, I do use the word stuck because that is exactly how I felt in China, and why wouldn't I? I was doing the same routine every single day, with seemingly no progress shown, because once again, the host had an important international meeting to go to in Japan on the day my show was supposed to be taped, and therefore, I have to go back to China again in august. So, to me, at that time, it seemed I was doing all that stuff for absolutely no reason. So, I forgive myself for giving into my own shallow interests. And, also, one day, I realized why I was doing all that.. because I want to sing.. and yet, why do I want to sing, and share it with the world?
Bing! we come upon point number 2.
2. I realized.. that. I want to sing because.. well, there are some people out there that enjoy my singing. As long as one person wants to listen to me sing, I will keep singing. I just hope it isn't like 5 billion + ppl that hate my singing, with 1 person that wants to listen, that's actually pretty pathetic hahahaha. But i will still keep singing nonetheless, because that 1 person wants to hear it.
i give props to that one person, that is stamina.
anyway, so the main theme of this whole blog entry is...
never.. give up your dreams, whether it be, some random spurt of want or need you have one day, or your childhood dreams, or your lifelong goals. Never give them up.
And yes, we all waver from time to time, but remember this: You dream for a reason. You live for a reason. Yes you may have a different reason of life, but your dreams are what keeps that playground aspect in life. ( that whole, the world is a playground, waiting for you to explore). If you lose your dreams, life becomes one boring old black and white film, that has no wonders for you to uncover. So keep dreaming, keep reaching. You'll get it. I promise. We as humans are extraordinary creatures, and we were made with the capacity to grab onto any dream we conceive... think about it..if we can't grasp those dreams.. then why can we dream? Whoever created us isn't cruel enough to let us dream, but not be able to get them.
at least, that's my opinion.
"Garder rêver, les rêves vous font et la vie vivante. "
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