what happens happens

Sometimes it scares me to realize how much I’ve changed, both for the better and for the worse. I’ve become so much more apathetic, so much more unforgiving when it comes to the matters of friendship. For some reason - after years of my father scolding me for always living not for myself, but for my friends- recently, this notion struck into my head and manifested. Unconsciously I’ve been surrounding myself with people I value, that also value me, while at the same time, I’ve been avoiding those who don’t give back to me what I give to them. I’m not sure that’s such a good thing. It seems that I’ve become colder, more introverted, and yet, the power to be able to choose whom i associate myself with is … well, inviting. In one year, I’ve made so many mistakes. I’ve done so much wrong. I don’t regret anything, because i promised myself at a young age that I should never regret, only learn and move on. It’s just that, at times I look back at the past year, and I want to smack myself upside the head and say ” why the hell did you do that?” Honestly, I have no clue at the time. I guess the overwhelming transition of college got to me, and I lost control at times. I suddenly feel older.. not just age-wise, but experience-wise. So much older.