force.

There is absolutely one thing in this whole world that can, and will drive me crazy. It is one thing that I can not comprehend, understand, or try to comprehend/understand. It is the one thing that will make me want to go to drastic measures. No matter how extensive the measure. What am I talking about?

Well, you know how in those typical teen angst tv shows, the kid ends up following the path that the parent chooses? Then the path rebels, and somehow in this beautiful rainbow filled sky scene, the parent realizes. " oh shit, my kid is right. This is his/her life. Not mine."

Damn it, I really wish one of those scenes would happen in my life. I basically want to self induce a heart attack, and maybe that'll make my dad understand.
Direct quote.
" You have to be a doctor. This is your life. You're going to be a doctor. That's the only way you'll survive. Go to that medical program. Become a doctor. Nothing else. What else can you be?"

FUCK.
I never thought that I would have to face such a problem. Honestly, my whole life, no matter what I did, my dad would be the one supporting me, pushing me forward. What the hell happened? I don't even know what I want to accomplish in life. Since when has it been marked that I am destined to be in the medical field? It is the only occupation that he is sure of. It is as if he is so narrow-minded that nothing else exists. What if I wanted to study psychology?
His reply was " oh no, you're going to become a psychopath. Be a doctor."

God, please help me out.
I know i'm supposed to appreciate all the things that my dad has bestowed upon me. And you bet, i damn well appreciate all those things. Why the hell else would I be attending a school I do not like? I would give so damn much. I just can't give away my discretion, especially when this choice has to deal with the rest of my life, and my potential happiness in life. I want to do waht I want. Please.


I don't know if my dad will ever understand. No matter how much i scream my lungs out telling him that This is my life. Not his.
He always replies with the same answer
" this is for your own good. i care about you. now, go be a doctor. That is your life."
How does he know?