I'm quite ashamed of myself lately, I find myself blogging less and less. I hope I will regain my previous habit of blogging everday, or whenever I get hit with the "blogger muse." So, I came back from my secret trip, and I gotta say, at first, it was exactly what I expected. However, things evolved for the better, and I ended up having.. one of the most interesting, exciting, scary, fun trips I have ever had. Fun because, well, anytime with him is great & fun. The interesting, exciting and scary part, I apologize that I will have to refrain from elaborating. Some people will be so shocked that they will want to pull my hair out. Well, not to that exact level, but I'm quite sure most people will be very shocked. In the negative way. For some time.
Anyways, about my title. Ever since I was 8 (which is the age that I arrived at America), I found that my dad often tried to find ways to - I guess- make up for the time he did not spend with me during my childhood. He definitely spoils me. I know it. I feel bad about it. I don't deserve to be so spoiled, honestly. I mean, for the longset time in my childhood, i worked so hard. But it wasn't to be spoiled. It was just for me to see my parents again. That sort of thing. Somehow, my dad formed this weird routine of regaining my love, which was never taken away from him in the first place. Basically, everytime that I cry, or when I am mad, sad, anything negative, his go-to method of recovery is through buying me things. I mean.. anything that I want. It scares me. I do not find any happiness in basing the simple emotion of familial love on... well, materialism. THAT. is damn intimidating. What is more intimidating is.. I find myself falling closer and closer to liking materialism. That's horrible. I do not want to forget what my gradfather taught me: to always be appreciative for what I've got, to never want more than I need, to always remember those less fortunate than I. I definitely appreciate the situation I'm in. I'm so damn lucky. I hope I can do enough to deserve what I do receive. I do remember those less fortunate than I. Although, I won't say that giving to every charity I know is true enough as remembering those less fortunate than I, but I certainly do try. I want to help people out. Now, about the second fact stated, that I should never want more than I need. that one is a hard one to achieve. I mean, I can afford the things that I need, along with many things that I want, so i end up feeding my own desires... even if they are absolutely useless. I want to stop. I do not want to end up like one of those spoiled girls on "true life - mtv- I'm a shopaholic." Really, I do not want to be a spoiled brat. Nor do I ever want to come close to acting like one. If i ever show any bratty qualities. please tell me. I will change. That is for sooth.
Okay, new topic. This is to all the people who love music out there. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced this, but it's - in my opinion - one of the most amazing feelings in the world. To really give yourself to music. I haven't tried it with playing piano, but with singing definitely. That experience of closing your eyes, saying those lyrics as though they were your own, put your own feeling to it, fall into the song, and just... make magic. I love it. I have to say, it gives you such a rush, and it's a very good stress reliever. Why? Because, you're pouring your emotions out, blocking out all the distractions, and just.. plain doing what you love. And after it, you'll find that you are in a state of happiness and joy because well, just plain doing what you love is.. amazing. Also, I find that if I put my whole self into a song, I definitely understand the song more, and I end up loving the song more.
SO, go out there, get rid of the distractions, and DO WHAT YOU LOVE.
Try it.
it's beautiful.
"Faire que vous aimez, est un cadeau"
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