People always want things that they can not have. I wish that wasn't true, but it is..
In the physical end, people with curly hair want straight hair; people with straight hair want curly hair. In the metaphysical end, people with a partner want to be alone, people without a partner want partners. Why the hell do humans torture themselves so? Hey, but don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I need a partner, or straight hair. haha. I think I'm in the time period of my life where I need to take time off for myself, and find out who I am, and be completely comfortable with who I am. I think I'm not a bad person. No. I Know that I'm not a bad person. I'm not going to lie, I do bad things, but the thing is, who doesn't do bad things? A person who lives without any sin in his/her life is nonexistent. That's the key to being human. : Knowing what you do wrong, and minimizing the quantity of bad things done. Not.. Knowing what you do wrong, and absolutely being the most perfect person ever created on the face of this earth. because face it: PERFECTION IS NONEXISTENT. Paradoxically, perfection is imperfect. Would you want a perfect person? I wouldn't. Think about it. Intimidating, isn't it?
So no. I'm not going to lie.
Yes, I said I wasn't going to drink, and No. I did not keep that promise. I guess it runs in the family. My father drinks, so do I. I'm not an alcoholic, even if I used to drink at that amount. I know how to control myself, and I will not, do not let myself get drunk. I'm no idiot, and I know what I'm doing. I'm not doing it to fit in; not to run from my problems (although it helps), I'm doing it because I want to. It's an experience. Calm and Collected, that's what I aim for, and so far, that's what it has been. I keep myself intact. I watch over others and keep them intact. I'm no demon, but I'm definitely no angel either. So excuse me for my actions. I apologize for contradicting my words, yet I do not apologize for my actions. Circumstances change, and one promise I'll always keep: no regrets. I won't do anything I'll regret. keep your trust in me.
Tattoos.
the next topic.
I am planning to get inked. with my fellow pledge sister, Gabby.
tattoo of what? haven't really decided yet
I'm kind of in a pickle between two.
1. solid, purely black wings on the back of my shoulders (one on each shoulder)
-meaning: I find myself to be a fallen angel. I try to be good, but of course, I'm imperfect, and I'm proud of my imperfections. I'm no angel, but.. that doesn't mean i'm not good-natured, or that I don't have a strong set of morals, or that I don't have kindness, pathos. But, I am definitely not a push-over, not all-merciful (although i do forgive and forget easily), so there you go. I feel those wings would fit me quite well.
2. Music staff of one measure, within the measure, a treble sign, and the notes F A C A D E. and cursive façade under it.
-Meaning: The treble sign because I sing in the range of tenor-soprano, all in the treble clef. haha. that's about it for that. Facade because.. I used to, and probably still (a bit) put up a facade towards people that I'm not close to. I've always had trouble trusting people after they lose my trust, so they get the Façade. It is quite a flaw but it is who I am, and I do try very hard to change that part of me, yet it.. no matter what, is a part of me (even if it will become a part of my past), and I want it to stick with me. So yes, that's an option as well. Oh, also because a lot of people see me, and they give a "façade" for me (like a stereotype), but I end up being something else = the real me. So, I think it'd be cool to accept what I am to others, it'l help me keep my actions intact, and my identity straight.
Which do you guys think is the one for me?
Or do you guys have other suggestions?
Hit the comment board! (:
dig it.
i like the music one =]
ReplyDeleteI think I've already given you my opinion on that?
ReplyDeletehave you?
ReplyDeletei can't remember.. lol
i'm getting inked in november! along with repiercing my nape.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting "wayfarer" tattoed on my first rib on the left side, underneath the bra strap area.
i think the wings fit you more. Or you can get both. whatever feels right. the treble clef thing is clever, but I think one day you will grow out of that, because to me that's temporary, and I think the wings are somehow more realistic and represent you along with everyone else. It can be a constant reminder for you, you know? Like you know you're imperfect, so you don't have to always feel so damn guilty and pressured to be.
my imo anyways.
tell me when you get it!