cent jours

as you all can see, i definitely forgot to post again on wednesday.

sorry.

now for my main problem at hand.. well, not problem, just frustration, and.. not really.. revelations :/

help me out here,

how am i going to say to a guy that's liked me for as long as i've liked Elias, that.. i have no feelings for him, and that i want to just be friends, WITHOUT making him sad.

is that even probable...?

Honestly, i had no idea that he still liked me, i thought it would've died off like a flame dies off in a deoxygenated room.

Guess i miscalculated. What i mean is, i had a clue that he liked me back in my sophomore year. I just had no clue to think that he would still keep liking me. The only reason he's telling me now is because i'm graduating soon... I gotta say, the kid has guts. Took him 2 years to work up those guts, but.. he still has guts ( if only i had those guts a year ago). 

he asked me to accept to be his gf... no can do H****, toolateforthat.

Now about the guy that i am tied to.

here's what's up.

" so, whatever happened to ' i'll call you as soon as i find my phone though' ?"

" well i texted you.. oh. i said i would call you."

" okay. that's all i needed to know"

how many times has he forgotten what he said?

" i don't know."

Give an approximation.

" few."

So does it matter?

" yes."

i have trust issues. i put all of my trust into anybody i meet, but once that person loses my trust just once, that bond of trust snaps like an overworked rubber band. I'm having trouble persuading myself to believe everything that he says. 

" He'll say things, and he'll mean it, but that doesn't mean he'll necessarily do anything to prove it."

in sooth.

this time, he didn't even think to apologize.

but that doesn't matter. actions speak louder than words.

let's see how he can make it up this time, or if he's even going to try to make it up.

are you mad?

"no."

sad?

"a little."

apathetic?

"not sure."

tired?

"yes."

yeah.. whatever.. right?

it's all whatever.

just keep on proving me right, whatever.

happy one hundred days...

no whatever to that, because it actually matters to me...

but does it matter to him

"La confiance est la base pour l'amour."