runrunrun

I don't know if any of you have ever felt the rush of adrenaline that accompanies a good work-out before, but it's quite amazing. Especially if you're running, and you can feel that pain shoot along your side, and your legs screaming for you to stop, and yet.. you keep going. It feels like accomplishing something big. It's like because you're moving on from your pain, it's as if, you're actually repelling your real-life pressures and stresses elsewhere. 

Why do I run?

Not because I do not want to show up on the Prom Court stage as a flabby duck, but because... I'm not sure, lately so many things have been bothering me.

In order to escape, forget, and relieve, I run. At least 3 miles. Ooh, that feeling of.. your lungs struggling to supply itself with air, and yet, not using an inhaler to ease that process. haha. very cool. Gosh, I sound like some sort of masochist. I just like getting rid of troubles, that's all.

Sometimes i ask myself why i care, i mean... it's true, it is hard, just as predicted. So why the fuck should i even give a damn? Because i am a quixotic fool, that's why. I guess i'm still high off of the thrill felt from knowing that the guy i've liked for so long, has the same feelings for me.

I don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore. :/

what am i supposed to do? somebody steer me in a direction, please.

When i'm with him, i'm reminded every milli, nanosecond as to why i love being with him, why i started liking him.

What if he's too busy to remind me of that now?

I mean, i still remember, but.. what if it fades away, because.. he'll be too busy for me?

oyvey. depressing topics....

anyways...

... 

i don't know.

if only he could take just.. a little bit of time out of his schedule.. to reassure me.

i guess that's asking too much.

peut-etre demain.

"Ou allons-nous maintenant?"